


Boyfriend Surprise

by OopsWhereDidMyNameGo



Category: The Witcher (TV), Wiedźmin | The Witcher (Video Game), Wiedźmin | The Witcher - All Media Types, Wiedźmin | The Witcher Series - Andrzej Sapkowski
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Modern with Magic, College Student Jaskier | Dandelion, Jaskier | Dandelion Dislike Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia at first sight, Jaskier | Dandelion Fights For Mutant Rights, M/M, Priscilla Ships It, poor Geralt
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-19
Updated: 2020-04-19
Packaged: 2021-03-01 17:35:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,425
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23730940
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OopsWhereDidMyNameGo/pseuds/OopsWhereDidMyNameGo
Summary: The smiles on their faces are so cute that even Geralt has to admit that this scene is adorable.However, just when they are about to kiss, it suddenly occurs to Geralt that-“Ah fuck! Great! Shit! Your boyfriend just became mine. Fuck!” Geralt growls out loud, and the two turn their heads to look at him in pure panic.“...What?”“The flowers, they were yours and you already know that. The thing which you already have but did not know- is ‘him and his heart’.”ORGeralt saves Priscilla from a certain death and Destiny determines the Law of Surprise to be A FUCKING BOYFRIEND.
Relationships: Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia/Jaskier | Dandelion
Comments: 6
Kudos: 51





	Boyfriend Surprise

**Author's Note:**

> A big thank-you to Hestia, Sim, Caroline and other members from the Tumblr TAD gc! Thank you all for throwing ideas around with me!^ ^  
> 感谢饭饭，蛇蛇和毛毛不厌其烦帮我看初稿跟我一起聊梗开脑洞qwq!  
> This is my original post on Tumblr：https://ashleylovesjoey.tumblr.com/post/615179037317496832/ok-sooooo-heres-a-geraskier-boyfriend-surprise  
> English is not my native language so feel free to point out my typos or grammar mistakes!  
> I haven't played the video games so if you think Priscilla is out of character please tell me qwq
> 
> I have changed the rule of the Law of Surprise to make my plot more logical:  
> The Law of Surprise, whatever it is, is just a change of the owner. If it is the offerer's child it will just become the claimer's child, and if it is a gift someone sent to the offerer it will just be gifted to the claimer. For instance, if apply this rule to Duny's case, Pavetta will only be his daughter instead of lover.

Jaskier's face is slightly red, chest heaving from an abrupt breathing-in, mouth open as if about to pour out thousands of words of angry scold.

Geralt's face is inhumanly pale, brows frown hard enough to kill a fly, mouth shut tightly showing a cold thin line of protest.

Priscilla is covering her face with both hands.

Despite his scarier look, Geralt is the first one to let the tension drop. He lowers his head and takes the last bite of the chocolate cake. He can see Jaskier become more angry as he does so, but Geralt is just too tired for this fuck.

One hour earlier.

Having decided to walk to his destination, Geralt pulls his motorcycle Roach to an alley and locks her up.

One last commission, he thinks as he walks, one last commission and I can have enough money to have her fixed and leave this fucking place and fucking eat whenever I want and sleep under a fucking roof.

There's a reason for his bad temper and strange thoughts today. Roach broken down, Geralt has been stuck in this town for a week, having only one or meals a day while continuing to do hunts to save up money.

One town just can't have that many monsters these days and Geralt thinks he has wiped out each and every one of them in this area. 

However the latest news is that one man has been killed in the cemetery by someone or SOMETHING and there have been reports of “seeing a ghost singing” in the same cemetery.

Based on the description of the victim's wound in the news article, Geralt is sure the former was a ghoul. The later is most likely a prank, but if it is really a thing then Geralt can go to the police and ask for a higher payment.

So he is just here to do a little recon- to see how many ghouls there are and whether the ghost is real. Going to the local police and accepting the commission will be his first thing tomorrow.

He has no idea of what destiny has in store for him right now.

The closer Geralt gets to the cemetery the thicker the fog becomes, but he hasn't pulled out the swords, intending not to start a fight today.

It is when Geralt walks into the open gate of the cemetery that he spots the human figure in the distance in the thick fog. Geralt stops and narrows his eyes. Is it... a woman(girl? ) holding a guitar?

The girl strums the guitar and starts to sing a quite beautiful song. This confirms Geralt's guessing: Not a real ghost. Pity though, there won’t be extra money for him.

Geralt walks closer to warn her about the dangerous ghouls in this cemetery, and sees a shadow approaching her from the right side. Geralt is by her side in seconds, covering the distance in a few steps.

He calls out “look out” and pushes her down. Unfortunately there’s a rather tall tombstone behind her, the stone probably hard enough to crack a human’s head open, so Geralt just rolls over without thinking, putting himself under the girl while they fall over.

As a consequence, the back of his head kisses the tombstone so hard that a grumpy growl escapes him. He squeezes his eyes open and can immediately feel light spots sparking behind his eyeballs.

More frustrated than ever, Geralt scrambles to his feet and staggers a little because of the headache and dizziness. Looking up he sees those nasty creatures coming at him with a scream.

“Want death so badly don’t you?” Geralt quirks one corner of his mouth, pulling out his sword.

Anger is always the best fuel to a witcher.

“-Thank you! Really, thank you so so so so so much! You saved my life! How can I repay you? Oh, and what’s your name? I’m Priscilla by the way!”

The battle ended in just three minutes, and what is left are a pack of bloody ghoul body parts and a rather fearless-looking girl. Geralt’s head hurts like hell. “Geralt of Rivia. Witcher. Why are you asking, got a job for me?” He teases, not smiling though.

“I just wanna thank you properly-Thank you, Geralt! And maybe I wanna tell this story. To tell a story one must have a name for the hero don’t they?”

“Hm.” Geralt turns to take a good look at the body parts. No, the local police won’t just take these as evidence and pay him. He’s not going to ask for a snub. Fuck.

“Geralt? Are you okay?”

“Yeah. No. Ah fuck. Just grab your guitar. We gotta leave now.”

“Without those body parts? Don’t you witchers need those to get paid?”

“I didn’t accept the commission when I came. This was supposed to be no more than a recon.” Geralt explains, and when Priscilla’s face starts to show a shadow of sympathy and guilty, he adds, “Don’t. It’s not your fault. Where do you live? I'll walk you home.”

“A few blocks away.” She says quietly, and so they walk.

“Seriously, is there anything,” Priscilla says, “Anything that I can do for you as a repay?”

Geralt doesn't reply. In fact he wasn't even listening. The adrenaline has wore out, what follows is a week amount of accumulated fatigue. Head hurts. So tired. Want food. Wanna sleep. Fuck.

“I'm just a college student so... Some food? Or do you prefer a drink? ...At least let me get some medicine for your head!”

‘Anything is fine.’ Geralt wants to say. But it seems that his head is too dizzy for words to come out easily.

“Oh I know what to offer you now! The Law of Surprise! The thing which I have but do not know!” Priscilla cheers, eyes sparking.

“Anything is fine.” Ah the words finally comes out.

Wait. Geralt blinks, mind suddenly clearer than it has ever been in the past week.

“Did you say...”

“Yes! I offer you the Law of Surprise. Destiny won't disappoint a good person like you, will it?”

Geralt wants to tell her that destiny is a bitch and that he is not a good person, but something has stopped him. Maybe it's the hunger and tiredness, or the headache and the dizziness. 

Or maybe it's the chaos and destiny itself.

They continue to walk and Priscilla continues to talk. She has also strummed and sung a little, miraculously having relieved his headache slightly.

“Why did you sing in a cemetery anyway?”

“Um, I was practising for my play. ‘Waltz For The Dead’, name of that song. I just need a special environment to feel it you know?” Priscilla sounds a little upset, “Of course now I know I was just being silly.”

“Hm. Quite a name, the song.” Geralt comments, “Didn't read the newspaper about the killed man found in that cemetery? ”

“Geralt,” Priscilla looks up to him with an innocent look, “Do you know any college student who read newspaper nowadays?”

“Hm.” Good point.

As they talk they turn around the corner and see a group of detached cottages. In front of one of the beautiful red hard wood doors stands a quite good-looking young man with a bunch of flowers and a hand-size box in hands.

“Jaskier!” Priscilla calls out with excitement, running towards him.

“Ah! Hey Priscilla!” The boy- Jaskier- literally jumps up a little and then he turns around and answers, seeming to be extremely nervous, “Hey... I brought these...” His words trails off when he sees Geralt behind her, mouth open as if he has forgot how to shut it up.

Geralt is used to that look and doesn’t want to give a fuck. What he cares is the box in the boy’s hand- there’s a lovely heart-shaped chocolate cake inside it.

He walks up to them and asks, “Are these for her?”

“Uh, yeah.” Jaskier answers, still astonished.

‘Thank all the lords the Law of Surprise is just a chocolate cake and some flowers.’ Geralt lets out a heavy sigh and takes those gifts sent by destiny from the boy’s hands.

“HEY! What the...?” Jaskier’s jaw drops and he is even more shocked right now if that level of surprise is bearable for a human body.

Geralt just opens the box and starts to eat RIGHT THERE because he is fucking STARVING okay. He motions for Priscilla to explain everything to the boy.

However, before Priscilla can speak, Jaskier explodes, “Excuse me?! Can I just have my love presents back PLEASE?” He isn’t asking.

Geralt doesn’t even move, and so Jaskier goes for it, trying really hard to pull that bouquet out of his hands. Geralt lets go ‘cause he is not going to eat the flowers anyway.

“Who is this guy?”

Angrily, Jaskier turns to Priscilla for an explanation. But it seems that her mind is somewhere else, “Jask, did you say...‘love presents’?”

“Ah, eh, that one,” He is suddenly back to the nervous boy mode,“Actually...”

Hm, lovely teenagers. Geralt thinks as he eats, curiously eyeing them as a stander by.

Jaskier licks his lips and clears his throat, while his hands trying to rearrange the flowers, “Dear Priscilla, today I’m confessing my love for you. You already have me and my heart. Will you allow me to have you as well?” He asks, eyes sparking and cheek flushing slightly, and Priscilla screams yes before she takes the flowers and they laugh and hug.

“Jask,” Priscilla laughs as she checks the flowers,“Are these flowers from my yard?”

“Well...” Jaskier puts his hands behind his back and tiptoes a bit,“Your roses and buttercups needed pruning anyway.”

The smiles on their faces are so cute that even Geralt has to admit that this scene is adorable.

However, just when they are about to kiss, it suddenly occurs to Geralt that-

“Ah fuck! Great! Shit! Your boyfriend just became mine. Fuck!” Geralt growls out loud, and the two turn their heads to look at him in pure panic.

“...What?”

“The flowers, they were yours and you already know that. The thing which you already have but did not know- is ‘him and his heart’.”

“...No! This, this big white hair scary man just steals me from my almost-girlfriend, from you- and I am not, no no no, I am not going to sleep with him the rest of my life!”

“No one asked you to bed him Jask!”

They’ve been talking(or yelling and throwing bullshit words to each other and to Geralt if you prefer a more realistic answer) for twenty minutes, and Geralt has gave up listening a while ago.

Actually the only word that really gets into his sleepy aching dizzy tired brain is “sleep”. Geralt blinks hard and looks down at his hands. There is only one bite of cake left.

“Can I get the opportunity to sleep one night under a roof.” He feels the sudden silence and looks up, realizing that he just said it out loud.

Jaskier's face is slightly red, chest heaving from an abrupt breathing-in, mouth open as if about to pour out thousands of words of angry scold.

Geralt's face is inhumanly pale, brows frown hard enough to kill a fly, mouth shut tightly showing a cold thin line of protest.

Priscilla is covering her face with both hands.

Despite his scarier look, Geralt is the first one to let the tension drop. He lowers his head and takes the last bite of the chocolate cake. He can see Jaskier become more angry as he does so, but Geralt is just too tired for this fuck.

Geralt flicks his hands and folds the box before he walks up to Jaskier and grabs his right arm,“Where do you live?”

“What? Do? You? Want?” Jaskier asks slowly, alarmed. Geralt can almost hear him put a question mark after every fucking word.

“We’d better stay together right now. No one can outrun destiny. And I really need a nap. I saved her life after all, so just give me a fucking break. ”

Surprisingly, Jaskier has been calmed down by these words. He just eyes him for a few seconds and then says,“I live next door.”

He pulls out his keys and opens the door of the house to their left. Geralt walks in without saying anything and when he looks back, the two are waving goodbye and Priscilla is wearing a worried look on her pale face.

“What? It’s not like I’m gonna eat him or anything.” Again, Geralt finds that he just let this thought slipped out of his mouth, and now Jaskier is looking at him in horror while closing the door behind them.

Geralt sighs.

“You’ll be fine. We will just... go on a date and then break up, and your boyfriend identity will be broke. And even though we will be connected and meet all the time after the break-up, you will just be a friend to me.” He stops for a few seconds and then adds, “You're lucky you were not proposing, or we'll have to get married and then divorced. Well in case you don’t know, now we mutants can't get married legally.”

“Actually I know that one.” Jaskier tosses him a look that contains some strange emotions.

“Hm.” Geralt doesn’t bother to ask. That’s not his business. He looks around searching for a good place to sleep and sees a lot of instruments piled up in the small living room. There’s one corner witch has enough room for him to lay down though, so he directly walks towards there and just. Lays down.

“What the hell are you... Take the couch you idiot.” Jaskier still sounds a little annoyed, but there's care behind his words.

“It's fine. I won't get cold.” Geralt teases, not looking up.

“No, but I prefer not to have my blanket ruined by the dirty floor, thank you very much. Take. The. Couch.” He turns to get a heavy pile of blankets with flowers on them from the closet and tosses them to Geralt.

“I...” can sleep on the floor without any covers if you care so much about your blankets. But for some reason Geralt didn't say it.

He takes the blankets and walks to the couch and lies down, trying his best to ignore the noises that Jaskier makes when he walks around and goes to bath and finally, goes to bed.

Blessed silence takes mercy of him eventually and so Geralt sleeps.


End file.
